JonZac
12-03-2002, 04:28 PM
The Story of Hood, Red Riding, Little as told by the U.S. Army. Author unknown
Once upon a time, there lived a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Red Riding, Little, 1 each. She was a girl, little, happy and lived in base housing, Rancho-type, brick with fireplace. Her duty uniform consisted of the following items:
- Dress, red, cotton, NATO shade 76, 1 each.
- Cape, red, w/ hood, 1 each.
Her MOS was food handler .
One day Hood, Red Riding, Little received a message from her Mother, Grand, old, 1 each who lived off-post in a cottage, brick, red, Capehart-type, w/chimney, w/o cable TV, initial issue, 1 each.
The message read as follows:
FM: Mother, Grand
TO: Hood, Red Riding, Little
Subject: Personal Status Report
This is to advise that morning report should read: DY to SK, confined to qtrs as of 0100 10 JUN. Went to sick call, confined for indefinite period.
However, feeling somewhat better.
Love and appropriate gestures of affection,
Mother, Grand, your.
Hood went to the message center with the following 1st endorsement: "Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx. 1600 this day. Added unofficial: Please bake cookies, ginger type, w/nuts, w/o icing."
Hood then signed out in the TAD log and departed homepoint hand-carrying the following items:
-Basket, picnic, wicker type, w/o top, 1 each.
-Sandwich, salami, w/pickle and onion, w/o mustard and mayo, 1 each.
-Soup, chicken, with meat and noodles, 4 liquid cups.
-Vacuum flask, 5 cup capacity, with removeable drinking cup, 1 each
While en route to TAD destination, pers concerned came to forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly out of the thicket, briar, emerged a Wolf, Bad, Big, Brown, 1 each, who said: "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"
Hood answered, "4032! Hood, Red Riding, Little, I am en route to TAD point and am looking for the house of my Mother, Grand!"
"It is just down the road, 800 meters, turn left at building 2355," instructed the Wolf.
"How do you know where she lives?" asked Hood.
"I've pulled MAA duty in these parts," said Wolf, who upon departure from pers then catches a bus, personnel to Granny's. Upon arrival, Wolf, Bad, Big, swallows Granny in a gulp, single. Wolf, Bad, Big then polices the area, including butt cans, and jumps into the rack (single-tier, initial issue type, 1 each) and pulls on Granny's 146-92S.
"Hello, Mother, Grand!" said Hood, Red Riding, Little upon entering the domicle.
"The fool, stupid, little, does not know that it is really me, the Wolf, Bad, Big," he chuckled.
"What big EENT (eyes,ears,nose,teeth) you have!" exclaimed Hood, Red Riding, Little.
"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with zero defects and within set DoD acquisition parameters," replied the Wolf as he quickly threw off the bedcovers, quilt, patchwork and proceeded to persue Hood, Red Riding, Little, 1 each.
Hearing a commotion in Granny's house, a chopper, wood-type, handsome, 1 each entered the house of Mother, Grand and killed the Wolf, Bad, Big with one blow. Afterwards he performed necessary surgical procedures to remove Mother, Grand, from the stomach of Wolf, Bad, Big.
With allowances for quarters and rations, they all lived happily ever after, unless superceded by higher authority.
Negative as to the Wolf.
Once upon a time, there lived a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Red Riding, Little, 1 each. She was a girl, little, happy and lived in base housing, Rancho-type, brick with fireplace. Her duty uniform consisted of the following items:
- Dress, red, cotton, NATO shade 76, 1 each.
- Cape, red, w/ hood, 1 each.
Her MOS was food handler .
One day Hood, Red Riding, Little received a message from her Mother, Grand, old, 1 each who lived off-post in a cottage, brick, red, Capehart-type, w/chimney, w/o cable TV, initial issue, 1 each.
The message read as follows:
FM: Mother, Grand
TO: Hood, Red Riding, Little
Subject: Personal Status Report
This is to advise that morning report should read: DY to SK, confined to qtrs as of 0100 10 JUN. Went to sick call, confined for indefinite period.
However, feeling somewhat better.
Love and appropriate gestures of affection,
Mother, Grand, your.
Hood went to the message center with the following 1st endorsement: "Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx. 1600 this day. Added unofficial: Please bake cookies, ginger type, w/nuts, w/o icing."
Hood then signed out in the TAD log and departed homepoint hand-carrying the following items:
-Basket, picnic, wicker type, w/o top, 1 each.
-Sandwich, salami, w/pickle and onion, w/o mustard and mayo, 1 each.
-Soup, chicken, with meat and noodles, 4 liquid cups.
-Vacuum flask, 5 cup capacity, with removeable drinking cup, 1 each
While en route to TAD destination, pers concerned came to forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly out of the thicket, briar, emerged a Wolf, Bad, Big, Brown, 1 each, who said: "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"
Hood answered, "4032! Hood, Red Riding, Little, I am en route to TAD point and am looking for the house of my Mother, Grand!"
"It is just down the road, 800 meters, turn left at building 2355," instructed the Wolf.
"How do you know where she lives?" asked Hood.
"I've pulled MAA duty in these parts," said Wolf, who upon departure from pers then catches a bus, personnel to Granny's. Upon arrival, Wolf, Bad, Big, swallows Granny in a gulp, single. Wolf, Bad, Big then polices the area, including butt cans, and jumps into the rack (single-tier, initial issue type, 1 each) and pulls on Granny's 146-92S.
"Hello, Mother, Grand!" said Hood, Red Riding, Little upon entering the domicle.
"The fool, stupid, little, does not know that it is really me, the Wolf, Bad, Big," he chuckled.
"What big EENT (eyes,ears,nose,teeth) you have!" exclaimed Hood, Red Riding, Little.
"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with zero defects and within set DoD acquisition parameters," replied the Wolf as he quickly threw off the bedcovers, quilt, patchwork and proceeded to persue Hood, Red Riding, Little, 1 each.
Hearing a commotion in Granny's house, a chopper, wood-type, handsome, 1 each entered the house of Mother, Grand and killed the Wolf, Bad, Big with one blow. Afterwards he performed necessary surgical procedures to remove Mother, Grand, from the stomach of Wolf, Bad, Big.
With allowances for quarters and rations, they all lived happily ever after, unless superceded by higher authority.
Negative as to the Wolf.