Here I was thinking that I was being funny.
Apparently I need to up my game!
I think I'll manage.
Allow me to supplant my original post:
Personally I think there's been:
A) Like you say, Hoggy, a severe sense of humour failure here.
B) Not enough supplications to the_List.
The rodent sacrificial quota has been abysmal in recent years.
The faithful have wavered.
****ALL HAIL the_List!!!!****
OK, Fine, whatever.
It was aimed at Nils rather than the "Team"
Which is where "the Joke" comes in even if it did die on its arse for the intended recipient.
I thinks some Clarification of the graph may be needed
Having previously worked in a software company QA / Test Dept.
I can attest this is a flippant, HUMOROUS (Looking at you, Nils.) but accurate representation:
The Kick off meeting = "Update Time! What's ready? (Feature list presented) This, This & This. Not That. OK, Get on with it."
White stuff in the middle = Other projects (And shit like Customer complaints, Holiday allowances, "Running the Company Stuff" "Trade Shows" "Life") interspersed with the following for whatever is up for release next:
Anaylsis = Uh huh / you want what?! / Are you quite mad?!* / *Insane Giggling from "Somewhere"*
Design = Hmm. / I wonder if.... / *Developer Stare*
Code = It Works** / Yes, it Does!!** / Auuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!! / *Headdesk* / You can't do that!!******
Test = No, it Doesn't!! ** / That's Weird. / It's fucking fucked!! / Oh.....Oh, Wow. / *Burned out whimpering* / It's okay!****
Release = No CTD Bugs, that we know of. / *Elaborate release ceremony*
Bugfix phase = All the small stuff we forgot/overlooked/were too busy to fix*** / "SQUINT HARDER!!!!" / That CTD bug which was hiding until the time was right. / We found the Giggling. It was Thom.
** Repeat as necessary, NOW can you see why it takes so long to release / test an update? (I imagine Nils must feel like a tennis umpire at times. Pock. Puck. Pock. Puck. 15-Love, Test Dept.)
***Delete as applicable.
****Rarely heard and only in hushed, reverent tones, lest it fuck everything up. Again.
******Again, True Story.
Well, knowing one or two of the team, a minor hissy fit would feature fairly high on the possibles list.