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He just wanted to see the green fields and trees.


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The 18-year-old soldier was "highly intoxicated," according to German police, when he careered through the gates of the Hoehne Barracks in north-western Germany, home to the 7th Armoured Brigade.

The soldier, attached to the 9/12 Lancers, decided to go on his joyride last week after a night of heavy drinking.

He first stole an armoured command car, swerving through the chicane at the entrance to the base and past the astonished guardhouse. But he managed to come off the road just moments later.

Incredibly, with the camp on red alert, he was then able to go back to steal another vehicle – this time a tracked armoured ambulance.

A Royal Military Police patrol that tried to intercept him was forced on to a verge by the driver who crashed the second vehicle into a tree moments later.

A German police report said the soldier was only slightly hurt and "very drunk."

A police officer added: "Apparently he muttered something about wanting to see green fields and trees." He is under arrest and will face a court martial.


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German MPs sure suck.

All MPs suck.

Yesterday I got pulled over for driving too slow. I'm driving down a street on base where the speed limit is like 25 MPH, and I'm going like 10-15 and pass an MP. He does a U-turn behind me and pulls me over.

The conversation goes like this:

MP - "Why you driving like 10 MPH on my street 'bro?" (Note how he calls it "my street" because obviously MPs own the base and I'm just priviledged to live and work there.)

Me - "Well, my chain of command put out that the next guy to get a speeding ticket on base is going to be crucified." (The previous guy did a 26mi. road march w/45lb. ruck. The next guys, PSG, SL, and TL will have to come to work on Sat.)

MP - "Well, you know you can get a ticket for driving too slowly too."

Me - "Yes, what is the speed minimum on this road." (I know there isn't one.)

MP - "Well, there isn't one, but you can still get a ticket for impeding traffic" (My car was the only vehicle on my side of the road.)

Me - "Was there anyone behind me?"

MP - "No, but I can still give you a ticket for impeding traffic." (I fucking dare you. You fucking douche bag. Give me a ticket for impeding imaginary traffic.)

Me - "Ok....."

MP - "Well....just drive like 25 man you'll be good."

Me - "Ya, ok, have a nice night."

Please note, I like law enforcement officers, and all the ones I have delt with have always been reasonable, but MPs are just faggots. (At least the ones on Ft. Benning. Sorry if you are an MP somewhere else, you are probably a decent guy.)

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In defense of the Polizei, I'm rather certain that in this case German MPs had nothing to do it. The article clearly indicates that it was a British base that the drunk in/exfiltrated. It was the Royal Military Police that tried to apprehend him. The Polizei appear to be involved as a matter of juridictional competence as they were either the ones who finally did bring the matter to a close, or were responsible for the green field and tree into which the commandeered ambulance was driven.

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When a close friend of mine was little, she grew up on A.F. bases and use to pretend to be lost so that the M.P.'s would give her a ride in their cars. They were pretty nice to her but then again she was a kid, and kind of well know by the M.p.'s as she was always into trouble. I should see what she thinks of them now a days.

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This has happened many times over the years and will continue to happen again in the future so long as there is alcohol sold on the bases where soldiers live and park up heavy equipment. The only difference about this is that he walked back and took a second vehicle, Im sure he will not be too popular with his collegues when the new security regime is put in place.

Hey, it could have been a whole lot worse.


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